Saturday, August 29, 2009

Fifth grade again

Every day I come to a hotel in Gracias for its free internet.

Today, after sitting here for a while, the guy working at the hotel restaurant (not attractive, not my age) passed me a note.

It reads:

Hola soy adelmo y me gustaria tener su correo electronico y tambien su nomero de movil disculpo por ser tan atrevido.
Gracias antemano.

Translation:

Hello, I'm Adelmo and I would like to have your e-mail address and also your phone number. Sorry for being so forward.
Thank you beforehand.

Uh. awesome. After a small panic attack (I come here every day! Awkwardness is not what I want) and a quick gmail message to one of my friends that's here with me, and a serious attempt to not start laughing, I responded, "Lo siento! Tengo un novio." ("Sorry! I have a boyfriend"-- the single girl's answer to every creepy man).

I guess I can give him credit because he wrote me a note instead of hissing at me on the street, which is usually my experience with men here in Honduras.

He saw me write it but keeps walking by without picking it up. I'm very uncomfortable! Am I in fifth grade again?

haha... I would just like to add that this blog was written in response to Sarah's request upon reading the note: "uh, blog about that please."

Exhaustion

It's kind of funny. Looking back on my blogs, I think they sound a lot chirpier than I actually am. In truth, this week has been absolutely and completely exhausting. I felt stressed out for the majority of it. I feel totally inadequate as a teacher. The teacher my students had in first grade was very militant (there's no other word to describe how he treats his students), and now that they have me, I think they are much more inclined to misbehave. I don't know how to control second graders, or teach them what they need to know. Especially when they can't speak English. A little girl spilled yesterday, and I asked her to go find someone to clean it up, and she had no idea what I was saying. There is a huge language barrier here that I don't know how to overcome.

We still don't have workbooks for our students. People have said to me, "well, at least you're getting workbooks," but that doesn't really make me feel better. The administration told us all along that we would have workbooks. The Abundant Life school in Tegucigalpa has proper soccer uniforms for the students there, but we don't have workbooks or school supplies. Three out of the five nights this week I have gone to bed crying because I just don't know how to do this, and I'm so scared to let these kids down. I don't care about getting in trouble from the administration (their expectations of us are completely unrealistic) or anything like that. I just want these children to have a wonderful second grade year, and I'm scared I don't know how to give that to them. I also am still getting used to the electricity going out every day, incredibly slow (if existent) internet, bugs everywhere, cold showers, untethered dogs, etc.

It's been a very long week.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Dogs and Water

Another thing I will never again take for granted: running water! This morning I woke up (at 5am, like I will be doing for the rest of the year, ugh) and tried to turn on the sink, and all it gave me was a big bubbling noise. The torrential downpour we have here every night knocked out our running water! Try getting ready for school without water... not easy.

The scariest thing that I think I have ever experienced happened to me yesterday. When I say that it was the scariest thing ever... I'm serious. I went back to my house and tried to tell the family I live with here about it, and I just started crying. As I was walking home, talking on the phone to my mom, all of a sudden I heard a loud barking. There are a lot of dogs here and I have never seen one on a leash, but usually they are not aggressive. All of a sudden, I saw that this enormous brown dog was walking towards me, growling and barking. I stopped walking out of instinct (I've always been told not to run) and all I could say was "Oh my God. Oh my God," because I literally thought I was about to be attacked by a dog. And this dog would have ripped me to pieces. The crazy thing was, his owner was right there, watching it happen. At first he was laughing, because I was obviously so petrified, but then as the dog didn't stop walking towards me, he started panicking and yelling his dog's name. The dog stopped maybe two feet in front of me, ignoring his owner, barking like crazy, while I was unable to move and on the phone with my mom. Finally at the last second the dog turned and took off running down the street. It was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me, without any shadow of a doubt, because I felt so helpless. If that dog had decided to attack me, it just would have torn me up and there would have been very little I could do about it. :( awful.

It's the end of the week, and I am struggling with my class. First, I really struggle because my students cannot follow the simplest of instructions. Today I asked them to write down some really easy words in cursive, just so I could evaluate their writing. I must have repeated the instructions four or five times, but no one was writing. So I had to go around to almost every student and point to their paper and say, "write. write. write. write." I don't think they are trying to be disobedient, I think that they don't really understand English. Also, one of the other teachers told me that it is a cultural thing, a problem in the education system here that students just don't do what they're told. I am also struggling because my students range so much in ability. Some can read books and write down their thoughts in English, while others simply can't understand a word of English. I don't know how to teach to the middle child. I try to help students if they ask for help, but some finish really early and start wandering around the classroom, or worse, bothering the students who haven't finished. I don't know how to do this! (Have I mentioned that before?) I'm so frustrated. We also still don't have books or workbooks, which makes things even more difficult. I don't know.

I am going to spend the weekend sleeping, trying to stay healthy (I woke up with a sore throat this morning), and maybe visiting a pottery village near Gracias! Send me any advice you might have about fighting off dogs or managing six and seven year olds.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Day 3 and photos

Welcome to Second Grade!



The back of the classroom:



My very own white board:



Yes, I am a real teacher



The dinosaur-resembling moth that perched itself on my door:



My last two days have been much better than the first. Today was better than yesterday. I am getting used to waking up at 5am to get to school on time, learning what kinds of activities second graders are interested in, and what methods of discipline seem to work. Let me just say though, that disciplining these second graders is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I had one absolutely adorable little boy sobbing today behind my door because I had to reprimand him (for fighting in the hallway!). It breaks my heart! I am trying to be tough Kirsty for now, so that they behave a little bit. My students aren't unruly, exactly...but they are very full of energy and not that good at listening to directions. But I adore them. I don't want to put pictures of them up on this blog, but maybe on my facebook page. Stay tuned :)

Monday, August 24, 2009

First day of school

Oh. my. goodness. That day just made me appreciate everyone who has ever taught me absolutely anything in my life. Teachers do not have it easy!

My first day was...really overwhelming, and really, really exhausting. I don't even know where to start writing this blog- just reliving the day via writing sounds really overwhelming to me right now! It wasn't that today was a disaster... it wasn't. My students were vivacious, but overall they weren't poorly behaved for their age group. I just spent the whole day feeling absolutely and completely woefully inadequate. I am just not equipped for this job! I don't know how to do it!

Let me start by talking about the children, because they're why I'm here. And quite honestly, I already love them. They are absolutely, absolutely, adorable. I even love the troublemakers (there are quite a few of them!), even though I'm trying to be tough on them these first few days. We had two periods of P.E. today, but they haven't been able to hire a P.E. teacher at the school, so our instructions were simply to "take them outside and play." So I got a soccer ball for the children who wanted to play soccer, and played clapping games and thumb war with some of the girls for about two hours....and I loved every second of it! These kids are so, so cute. Plus, they keep hugging me and hanging on me and just melting my heart.

As a side note to that, though- we were told that a lot of these kids come from really, really broken families and are never shown any love, which is why some of them might be overly affectionate. I ran into that problem a little bit, with a little girl in my class. I'll call her Ally, which is a shortened version her real name. As soon as we went out for recess, she ran over and gave me a really big hug. I thought it was so sweet and hugged her back (they're a lot more lax here about teachers showing affection for students than in the states) but then I couldn't shake this little girl. She kept coming back for hugs, and when I was playing with the other children she would actually grab my hands and pull me towards her to get me to pay attention to her. At one point I had to say, 'Ally, I love getting hugs from you, but maybe you could save some of them so that they're super special when you decide to give them to me.' I also had to remove myself from the hand-clapping games because the children were lining up in front of me to take turns playing with me, and finally I just said that I was done playing for the day and that they needed to play with each other. I can't be these children's mothers or friends- they need to learn how to play together. I think the social aspect of this job will end up being really challenging as well.

Anyway, my problem today just stemmed from me! And a little bit from the school administration. Pretty much everything in my lesson plan for today had to get tossed, because right at the beginning I realized that these children were not nearly at the level I expected them to be. First of all, they can barely understand or speak English. It's hard enough explaining something to a second grader, let alone one who can't speak the language being used. Then, I asked them all how old they are...and the majority of them are six. Six years old! Six years old is so young, I expected them all to be seven or eight....aren't most second graders in the U.S. at least seven years old? So while I was trying to help them fill out a fairly simple "getting to know you sheet" and explain to them the many rules that the school tries to enforce, and deal with a bunch of six year olds who would literally come up to me, wave their hands in my face, and yell "miss! miss! (read with spanish accent: meeeesss! meeeees!), I felt a very panicky feeling that I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to run a classroom! How do you entertain six year olds and teach them how to multiply at the same time? I felt so boring. I played all the games with them that I know- 'around the world' type games- but then I ran out of ideas! I literally stood there for a second this afternoon thinking, 'uuhh..now what?' because everything I had planned just wouldn't work for these kids! I wanted to be fun and exciting but I felt like I didn't know how to do that. I just don't know how to manage a classroom. It's not anyone's fault, the kids aren't bad, I never made any claims to know how to teach- but I have never, ever been in a position like this, where I just thought, "wow, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." I'm just so ill-equipped.

The administration told us to spend the first three days of school reviewing, and then start with the curriculum on Thursday. Well, I printed out a bunch of pages from their first grade math book to help the children review, and I can testify right now that they just couldn't do it. They don't speak english! I spoke to the first grade teacher this week, and he told me that they can understand english and that they are exactly where they're supposed to be. (I'm not going to directly comment on said teacher on this blog, but suffice it to say that his arrogance makes me question his judgment about his students' comprehension levels.) Anyway, I'm hoping that they are just rusty with their English from the summer, because if they just straight up can't understand it, it will be a very long year. So that's the first problem- I don't know how to review with them. The second problem is with the curriculum itself. It's very nice because the curriculum is extremely detailed, and tells us exactly what to cover each day. However, the curriculum is written for rich, American, english-speaking children. The curriculum calls for resources that the school simply does not have, and we are trying to apply this curriculum to who are learning in a language that their parents can't speak. This is their second language. So we are in a very difficult position.

I don't know if any teachers are reading this, but if you are...please send me advice. I don't know how to do this! I feel very inadequate, and I feel so bummed because I already love these children and want them to have a really great year. We were also just told today that the school couldn't hire an art teacher, either...so I am running art class tomorrow. agggh. So...also send ideas for art projects?

It's only the first day. But it did not go the way I wanted it to! gahhhhh... is it the weekend yet?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Lights

I may or may not have blown the electricity on my block here in Gracias.

Let me backtrack. Since having moved to Honduras, one of the biggest things that I have learned is to never take anything for granted. Paved roads, for example. Another example would be the ability to walk around outside without being verbally harassed by men (light hair and skin makes girls targets, I think). But one of the most important things that I have come to appreciate is electricity, and more specifically, electrical outlets. I have one electrical outlet in my room. That means that I can plug in one electronic device at a time. This becomes especially harrowing at night, when I have to choose between my fan, my alarm clock, and my many electronics (phone, computer, ipod, camera, etc) that all need to be charged. Furthermore, my one electrical outlet only has two prongs, so I can't even use it half of the time.

But there are realistic solutions to such problems! One of the teachers at my school so kindly lent me a 3 prong adapter, as well as a surge protector. So last night I very excitedly plugged in the adaptor and then the surge protector. It was plugged in for a good ten seconds before the entire house went dark. As the children started screaming and excitedly looking for candles (apparently the loss of electricity is a fairly common occurrence), I looked out the window and saw that I couldn't see a single light in any house or any street lamp in any direction. And the teachers who live up the mountains just told me that their electricity blew out last night too. oops.

And there was nothing that we could do! The children lit candles and we sat around in the dark for about an hour, and then the lights came back on. But then they went off again half an hour later. And this morning they were on for a while, but then went off again right before I left the house. So the moral of my story is, appreciate your electricity! Some of us down here don't have it, and not having electricity is a major bummer. Also, don't use surge protectors if you're not sure of the havoc they could wreak.

I had parent-teacher orientation last night and it went so well! I am super excited to meet my little kiddies on Monday. I should probably feel more nervous than I do, considering that small children's educations are in my hands. But I think it's going to be such a fun year!! :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Photos!

Let's see how this works.

Here is our school!! It's incredibly gorgeous.




A coffee plant outside of one of the mountain houses:



Our school is in a cloud forest!!



A street in Gracias, and a gecko that was climbing on a wall in the living room of a lady's house!




Wow, it took forever to upload those. :) enjoy!

Also, Parent-Teacher orientation tomorrow night... haha, should be lots of fun!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Mosquito bites


I got nine, I'm counting them, nine mosquito bites while I typed that blog. I think that means the blog was too long. Here's three of them.

I have a real job




Haha. Those pictures are of me drinking coffee (I just took it right now, look at the pretty cup!) and beautiful Honduras from the hotel cafe that I'm currently sitting in.

I have to admit this, although I don't think many people would be surprised to hear it- but I started looking for teaching jobs abroad because I just really wanted to travel. After I accepted this teaching position in Honduras, I focused my thoughts primarily on the travel side of the experience. I wanted to see Honduras! And other central American countries! But now I am here, in Gracias, and I've seen the school and been through orientation, and it's finally beginning to hit me that this isn't just travel time...it's a real job! I am being trusted with providing education to actual children. Alarming.

In any case, here I am. We finally arrived in Gracias on Saturday, after a seven hour drive in a crowded van (the last two hours of which were spent on unpaved, bumpy, mountainous roads), but we made it. I was so thrilled to finally be in Gracias, and it truly is absolutely spectacular. The city itself is quite small, and isn't what I expected. I thought it would contain many culturally Honduran stores, but most of the places here seem to sell things you can buy at a dollar store in the US. Most people in Gracias wear clothes similar to clothes in the US, and other than some beautiful pottery, I haven't seen anything that has struck me as culturally "Honduran." That's why I need to travel!! Even though most of the stores sell American things, Gracias is very poor. Most of the houses are just little colorful huts with thatched roofs, and all of them have a pila in the backyard for doing laundry, or getting water if the water stops running. (Last night the water in my house stopped because of the rain, and the family offered to put water in a bucket for me so I could wash up this morning.) There's crazy wildlife here too, yesterday I saw the biggest toad I have ever seen in my life. He was as big as Kipper when he was a little puppy! But anyway, I can find mostly anything I need here, including peanut butter!!!!! yay. I live in a house with a really lovely family right outside of Gracias, and they have been so kind in bringing me into their house and making me feel welcome. I hope my Spanish improves this year, because I am constantly frustrated with how little I understand.

Gracias has a lot of really cool things that I am totally looking forward to experiencing. For example, there are natural hot springs in the city, which is naturally hot water that comes out of the ground that people can go to swim in and relax. We went a couple nights ago, and it was incredible! I have heard of hot springs but have never seen them, let alone go swimming in them! That was pretty awesome.

In addition to seeing the house and town I will be living in this year, I was finally, finally able to see Vida Abundante! I live about five miles away from the school, which is literally located up in the mountains of Gracias...and it is one of the most beautiful schools I have ever, ever seen. The setting is spectacular; located in the Honduran mountains, in a cloud forest, with beautiful flowers and wildlife everywhere. Honestly, it is impossible to look in any direction without seeing a magnificent butterfly flying around. Yesterday I saw one that was purple with pink spots! The campus of the school is so cute too; I absolutely love it.

The classrooms are extremely modest, but we are doing our best to decorate them as much as we can. I've started decorating mine, and with my lack of art skills, it seriously looks like a kindergartner (kindergardener?) did it. I will be teaching the second grade, as well as computer classes for the ninth graders. Haha, who put me in charge of computers? That should be interesting, especially since I haven't seen any computers at the school yet. And I don't know anything about computers!

This week has been a whirlwind of deadlines, decorations, and rules. I learned about the school's creed/mission (email me if you would like to hear about it, it's worth hearing), and panicked when I was told that this Friday is parents' orientation, and Monday is the first day of school. What?? Since I only found out officially what classes I would be teaching yesterday (unofficially I knew a few days ago), that's not that much time to get my stuff together. The school also requires that we turn in a ton of paperwork (notes for parents' orientation, lesson plans for each week, a letter to the parents, etc) so I am very busy. I want to explore Gracias but I feel extremely overwhelmed with everything I have to get done. I can't help but think, though, that these first two weeks will be the most challenging, and after that I'll be able to relax a little bit.

I'm being literally eaten by mosquitoes as I type this, but to my left is an absolutely exquisite mountain, so it's worth it. Even though I'm overwhelmed and still trying to get settled in, I feel like I can really do some good here, and that's an incredible feeling. I'm hoping to get some pictures up of my house and the school soon, but the internet here is pretty slow so we'll see how that goes.

The next two weeks should be pretty interesting for me. I kind of doubt that anyone reads this...but if you do, stay tuned :)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Que bonita la camisa!

Today in Tegucigalpa, I

1) Complimented some very giggly and very adorable little girls on their clothes
2) Sat in a bank for a couple hours before learning that the store across the street from said bank was fire-bombed by a bus yesterday
3) Was on Honduran TV for being a teacher at Vida Abundante
4) Ate three traditional and extremely delicious Honduran meals
5) Hung out in a police station in Tegucigalpa... quite the experience
6) Remembered to throw out my toilet paper instead of flush it

My life is amazing :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Here we go

Oh my goodness!! I feel like the last 36 hours have been a crazy, exciting, wonderful whirlwind of new things. After leaving my house at 4am yesterday, and two painful layovers in LaGuardia and Miami airports, I am finally in Honduras! I flew into San Pedro Sula, which is the second largest city in the country. I was amused by the lack of security at customs (they didn't even look at the paperwork I filled out on the plane) and was also amused at myself because I literally wandered around the baggage claim area for a solid five minutes because I couldn't figure out where the exit was. However, when I finally did find my way out, three awesome guys from Abundant Life were there to meet me! Their extremely kind demeanor immediately put my nerves at ease...I was so nervous. I had actually wondered in Miami what would happen if I just flew back home to Cleveland, because it's really scary, moving to a foreign place for ten months. But as soon as I arrived here and met the people I'll be spending my year with, I knew that this is exactly where I want to be right now.

The guys took me out for lunch, where I had my first official Honduran meal, which consisted of chicken, sweet corn, and plantains! Totally delicious (para chupar los dedos...finger-sucking good!!!) :). The other teachers arrived later (I absolutely love them, they are wonderful!!) and we spent the night in San Pedro Sula. San Pedro Sula wasn't what I expected. It is very industrial, and although there are a lot of stores and restaurants, it still looks extremely impoverished, with trash and graffiti everywhere. I was unhappy to see all the American chains there; we noticed that TGIFridays restaurants are everywhere in the city! Obviously we avoided all of those and only ate traditional Honduran food yesterday.

This morning we woke up early to drive to Tegucigalpa, the capital! The drive was long, but the scenery was absolutely gorgeous. The mountains here are so beautiful, like straight out of a picture book. The tops of them are impossible to see because they are covered in clouds. Honduras is so lovely, but it's hard to watch the poverty. Most people seem to live in shacks, and when we drove up here we encountered several people, children and adults, coming up to the car windows and trying to sell us food. It's hard to say no to begging children.

Anyway, I feel extremely lucky (and moderately guilty) because we have only been given the best hospitality here. Right now I am staying with another teacher in a woman's house here in Tegucigalpa; we'll be here all week before heading to Gracias. Her house is really lovely and she has been so kind to us. Tonight we're going to watch the Honduras-Costa Rica soccer game, which should be really fun. I'm so glad we're going to have a chance to explore the city before heading to Gracias. We are already devising plans for travel, too. It seems pretty easy to travel to Guatemala and Nicaragua, and it's possible to take a boat to Belize. I hope we actually do everything we are saying we want to do!

I am so happy and excited; even though it's only been a day, I feel like I've already had so many amazing experiences! I'm pretty happy also because I'm going to be forced to learn how to speak Spanish properly here...it's not like Europe, where everyone speaks English.

Sorry this is so long; they won't all be like this! Everything is just so new and exciting right now! Send me emails or post comments, I would love to hear from all of you.

Hasta luego!
xoxo