I went with four other teachers to Santa Rosa this weekend. We had a good time... Santa Rosa is a small town just 45 minutes away from Gracias. We just wanted to get out of Villa Verde for a day and get some good coffee and watch cable TV, and we did those things. It was great.
Santa Rosa isn't anything special. It has some bigger grocery stores than we do here in Gracias. It has a cute park, a pretty church, and a variety of places to eat. It also has a great deal of poverty. We have poverty in Gracias, to be sure. But poverty elsewhere in Honduras is a little different than what we see in Gracias. Here, we have people living in tiny mud huts and in extremely poor living conditions, but in bigger cities like Santa Rosa, there are children everywhere who just seem to be on their own. They sell random things, they're always dirty, they never have anything on their feet. When we first arrived in the city, a little boy who looked to be seven to eight years old kept following us around, trying to get us to buy socks. I asked him how old he was, and he told me twelve. He said that he's small because he doesn't eat anything. I just couldn't believe that he was twelve, but one of the Honduran teachers who came with us confirmed that many children here simply don't look their age because they are malnourished. I gave the boy some money and another teacher bought a pair of socks, but the situation with the children makes me feel so helpless, because I just can't give all of them enough money.
The next day, these two little boys followed us into a coffeeshop and just stood there while we drank our coffee and ate our cookies. We bought their popcorn and their peanuts, but they still wouldn't leave. It made me feel terrible and pretty helpless. In a practical sense, I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't know whether to be super compassionate or standoffish. After we bought their things, they still didn't leave and I just wasn't sure what to do. Seeing children like that just breaks my heart. They should be in school, or playing with their friends. These kids don't have a childhood, they're selling old food on the street in the hopes of getting fifty cents from us. Kids shouldn't have to do that.
Poverty is so hard to see. It's hard because I don't know what to do about it, it makes me feel guilty (why am I so privileged when other people are struggling so much?), and it's just easier to ignore, sometimes. I often think about Haiti. After the earthquake, people worked so hard to send money and aid over there, and that's great. But I think it's important to remember that it took a natural disaster and hundreds of thousands of deaths to get people to stop ignoring the poverty that has been there since long before the earthquake struck. That's not a criticism of the aid... it's just an observation that I think we need to keep in mind.
I don't like feeling helpless. I wish I had a satisfying end to this blog post, but I don't. I enjoyed my weekend away in Santa Rosa, but it made me astutely aware of what I have and how lucky I am. It also made me astutely aware of how much work still needs to be done in our world.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Rowdy children, half birthdays, baby showers
Well, I haven't blogged in over a week...it feels like a lot longer. Not because things have been bad here, they haven't at all-- but time moves a lot slower here. My pace of life is just so slow. I love it. Anyway, we are back in the swing of things, finally. It's hard to believe, but we finished our second nine weeks and have moved into the third quarter.
Things in general have been good in school, but I don't know what's going on with my students. Maybe it's mid-year jitters, but I have had such a hard time controlling them these last couple of weeks. It seems like they just want to talk and talk. Today I was really hard on them, and at the end of the day I actually made them write lines (I remember doing that in elementary school and haaaating teachers for it) because they just would not listen. I hope things start to get better, or it's going to make for a really tiring year for me.
Other than the rowdy children, I've had a very relaxing couple of days. Last weekend was pretty great, and this upcoming weekend should be awesome also. After Tad moved up here, he, Julia, Rachel and I have started playing Euchre pretty regularly. I've never really known how to play Euchre (despite various attempts from Alex to teach me), but I think I finally have an understanding of the rules. And it turns out, I really enjoy playing cards! So that's been a lot of fun.
On Saturday, I decided to head to town in the morning with Tad and Mr. Bran. On our way down there, we ran into some doctors who are visiting from Michigan and running a clinic in Gracias. It was awesome... they showed us around the clinic, which was really impressive, and asked us to come help out if we can. I really want to try! We don't have a lot of ways to get down to town during the week, but they said that we could help out with surgeries if we want to! Dude... I want to scrub in on a surgery, that would be crazy. I kind of doubt it will happen at this point, but maybe. Anyway, they also said they needed some translators and asked if I'd be willing to help out with that. I guess since the clinic only runs for a few weeks, they get inundated with people and need help figuring out what everyone's problems are. I really hope I get a chance to help them.
That same day, the girl teachers went to a baby shower for one of the teachers at the school. It was actually the first baby shower I've ever been to, and it wasn't nearly as painful as I expected it to be. I think that's in large part to the lack of gifts- the principal asked us all to just donate money to the mom, so there wasn't much to open. We played some games and ate some food... it was an experience. haha
And that's about it! This weekend a few of us are going to Santa Rosa to celebrate (get ready for this) my HALF birthday! I have never had a half birthday celebration before, but apparently I'm going to turn 23 and a half in a big way. So that should be fun!
Even though time moves slowly here, I can't believe January's over. The weather has turned warm so I keep forgetting what month it is. February's around the corner (and Mathew's visit is quickly approaching!!), and the end of the year really feels like it's looming over me. I'm starting to hear back from law schools and figure out my plans for next year... it's hard to think about. So for now, I'm still just hanging out in the clouds.
Things in general have been good in school, but I don't know what's going on with my students. Maybe it's mid-year jitters, but I have had such a hard time controlling them these last couple of weeks. It seems like they just want to talk and talk. Today I was really hard on them, and at the end of the day I actually made them write lines (I remember doing that in elementary school and haaaating teachers for it) because they just would not listen. I hope things start to get better, or it's going to make for a really tiring year for me.
Other than the rowdy children, I've had a very relaxing couple of days. Last weekend was pretty great, and this upcoming weekend should be awesome also. After Tad moved up here, he, Julia, Rachel and I have started playing Euchre pretty regularly. I've never really known how to play Euchre (despite various attempts from Alex to teach me), but I think I finally have an understanding of the rules. And it turns out, I really enjoy playing cards! So that's been a lot of fun.
On Saturday, I decided to head to town in the morning with Tad and Mr. Bran. On our way down there, we ran into some doctors who are visiting from Michigan and running a clinic in Gracias. It was awesome... they showed us around the clinic, which was really impressive, and asked us to come help out if we can. I really want to try! We don't have a lot of ways to get down to town during the week, but they said that we could help out with surgeries if we want to! Dude... I want to scrub in on a surgery, that would be crazy. I kind of doubt it will happen at this point, but maybe. Anyway, they also said they needed some translators and asked if I'd be willing to help out with that. I guess since the clinic only runs for a few weeks, they get inundated with people and need help figuring out what everyone's problems are. I really hope I get a chance to help them.
That same day, the girl teachers went to a baby shower for one of the teachers at the school. It was actually the first baby shower I've ever been to, and it wasn't nearly as painful as I expected it to be. I think that's in large part to the lack of gifts- the principal asked us all to just donate money to the mom, so there wasn't much to open. We played some games and ate some food... it was an experience. haha
And that's about it! This weekend a few of us are going to Santa Rosa to celebrate (get ready for this) my HALF birthday! I have never had a half birthday celebration before, but apparently I'm going to turn 23 and a half in a big way. So that should be fun!
Even though time moves slowly here, I can't believe January's over. The weather has turned warm so I keep forgetting what month it is. February's around the corner (and Mathew's visit is quickly approaching!!), and the end of the year really feels like it's looming over me. I'm starting to hear back from law schools and figure out my plans for next year... it's hard to think about. So for now, I'm still just hanging out in the clouds.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Age and death in Honduras
Most people who know me know that I am constantly being told how young I look. The summer I turned 21, a bartender wouldn't let me into a bar because he was convinced my ID must be fake. I think the fact that I barely clear 5 feet combined with my baby face just make for an extremely young-looking 23-year-old! Most people tell me I'll appreciate it when I'm 40. Well, I received the shock of my life a couple days ago when I learned that one of the Honduran teachers was extremely surprised when she found out that I'm only 23! She was sure I was 27 or 28. She had similar reactions to learning all the teachers' ages...she couldn't believe we are all in our early 20s. I have no idea what she's talking about (I don't look 27!), but that being said, we Americans are constantly surprised by the Honduran teachers' ages also! That particular teacher has a five-year-old son and she looks to me like she could be 30...but she's 22. Age throws me off here, I always think everyone is older than they are.
Sometimes something happens here in Honduras that makes me remember where I live. It's so easy to get lost in the night sky, and the mountains, and the beauty of the school. My kids are impossibly cute, my friends are so great, I love my job, and I love Honduras. But the fact is, Honduras is the second-poorest country in Central America, and sometimes stuff happens here. Last night, a father of one of our third graders was murdered in Gracias. It wasn't a random crime, apparently this father was involved in the Honduran drug trade... but that doesn't make death any less tragic. This little boy only knew his father as that- his father.
It's very grounding when something like that happens. The reality of the situation in our school is that many of our students have lost a family member. Many of them live only with their mother or only with their father, and some don't even know where the other parent is. Many of my students come from broken families. From what I've heard, it's pretty common for people in town to have "enemigos"- enemies who want to kill them. Death is much more of a reality here, a much more present part of life than it is to most children in the United States. Children here have to deal with the world at an early age. I've seen so many children who should be in school selling food on the street. I know one of my second graders goes to a farm on the weekend to kill cows for dinner. And I know that several of my students have parents or siblings who have died. It's very strange, to experience other peoples' realities. It makes me feel lucky, guilty, sad, helpless... a lot of things. In any case, my heart breaks for our third grader who's left without a dad, and all of our other students who have to grow up so much faster than they should.
Sometimes something happens here in Honduras that makes me remember where I live. It's so easy to get lost in the night sky, and the mountains, and the beauty of the school. My kids are impossibly cute, my friends are so great, I love my job, and I love Honduras. But the fact is, Honduras is the second-poorest country in Central America, and sometimes stuff happens here. Last night, a father of one of our third graders was murdered in Gracias. It wasn't a random crime, apparently this father was involved in the Honduran drug trade... but that doesn't make death any less tragic. This little boy only knew his father as that- his father.
It's very grounding when something like that happens. The reality of the situation in our school is that many of our students have lost a family member. Many of them live only with their mother or only with their father, and some don't even know where the other parent is. Many of my students come from broken families. From what I've heard, it's pretty common for people in town to have "enemigos"- enemies who want to kill them. Death is much more of a reality here, a much more present part of life than it is to most children in the United States. Children here have to deal with the world at an early age. I've seen so many children who should be in school selling food on the street. I know one of my second graders goes to a farm on the weekend to kill cows for dinner. And I know that several of my students have parents or siblings who have died. It's very strange, to experience other peoples' realities. It makes me feel lucky, guilty, sad, helpless... a lot of things. In any case, my heart breaks for our third grader who's left without a dad, and all of our other students who have to grow up so much faster than they should.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Learning Spanish
When I came to live in Honduras, I hoped that my Spanish would improve. I took high school Spanish and a couple semesters at U of M, but in general my Spanish really wasn't very good. I found when I moved here that language learning was far more difficult than I anticipated it to be. I often hear people say, "Oh, I can understand [insert language here] but I can't really speak it." I don't know if I'm just really terrible at language, but that has never been the case for me at all. It was incredibly difficult for me to begin to understand what people were saying. I heard today that Hondurans speak the fastest Spanish of any Central American country, and I believe it.
In any case, I grew frustrated that I hadn't just immediately attained fluency. I live with two girls who are completely fluent, and they make me want to be able to speak Spanish so badly! But slowly, slowly, I'm beginning to feel like I have some grasp on the language. In general, I can have conversations with pretty much anyone (exception: our neighbor, Don Luis... when I can understand his Spanish I know I'll be in good shape). I am able to communicate with the parents when they come in for meetings, I know what the principal is saying to me when he talks to me, I can speak to mototaxi drivers on the phone to get them to drive us up the mountain, and I was able to talk to the internet guy about installing a router in our house.
But tonight something really fun happened for me. I was in church, and one of the people who was speaking wanted his story told in both English and Spanish, and asked if someone would be willing to translate. Neither of my bilingual friends were there, and he really wanted someone to translate his story, so I volunteered to do it for him. I figured, 'What's to lose? If it turns out that I can't understand him, I'll just apologize and sit down.' But I was totally able to translate his story to the church community! It really made me feel good, because it made me feel like I could contribute to the service and be helpful. The man was so grateful and I felt really proud of myself for translating. It's a really little thing, but for me, those tiny moments mean a great deal because I feel like language is such a struggle!
It's wonderful to have little validating moments that let me know that I'm going somewhere with my ambitions to speak Spanish properly. I feel really proud that I've accomplished something for myself during my time in Honduras... and I'm only halfway through! I can only hope that I will keep improving, and comprehension will get even easier as time passes.
In any case, I grew frustrated that I hadn't just immediately attained fluency. I live with two girls who are completely fluent, and they make me want to be able to speak Spanish so badly! But slowly, slowly, I'm beginning to feel like I have some grasp on the language. In general, I can have conversations with pretty much anyone (exception: our neighbor, Don Luis... when I can understand his Spanish I know I'll be in good shape). I am able to communicate with the parents when they come in for meetings, I know what the principal is saying to me when he talks to me, I can speak to mototaxi drivers on the phone to get them to drive us up the mountain, and I was able to talk to the internet guy about installing a router in our house.
But tonight something really fun happened for me. I was in church, and one of the people who was speaking wanted his story told in both English and Spanish, and asked if someone would be willing to translate. Neither of my bilingual friends were there, and he really wanted someone to translate his story, so I volunteered to do it for him. I figured, 'What's to lose? If it turns out that I can't understand him, I'll just apologize and sit down.' But I was totally able to translate his story to the church community! It really made me feel good, because it made me feel like I could contribute to the service and be helpful. The man was so grateful and I felt really proud of myself for translating. It's a really little thing, but for me, those tiny moments mean a great deal because I feel like language is such a struggle!
It's wonderful to have little validating moments that let me know that I'm going somewhere with my ambitions to speak Spanish properly. I feel really proud that I've accomplished something for myself during my time in Honduras... and I'm only halfway through! I can only hope that I will keep improving, and comprehension will get even easier as time passes.
My class
I love my students. I just love them. I'm so impressed by their progress so far this year; they generally understand English really well and can express what they need to say. Their grades have increased significantly, which is really impressive. They are learning with an American curriculum, written for students whose first language is English. They are such smart kids. They're also incredibly sweet. They always do things to try and help me, they want so badly to please me and make me happy. I'm posting some pictures that I took this week... I can't believe how big they've gotten! I feel like a proud mom.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Internet in the mountains
I never thought it would happen, but after five months of using really slow internet only twice a week, we finally wired up our houses way up here in Celaque so that we can get the internet. What happened was pretty awesome- a parent at our school overheard us talking about our internet woes last week, when we had first returned from the United States...a trip that reminded all of us of how wonderful it is to have fast internet all the time! She said that she knew a guy who might be able to find a signal up here in the mountains. So, the guy came up, found a signal, and now here I am, blogging from the highest peak in Honduras.
This means that I will be able to check my email much more frequently and stay in much better touch with people... yay for technology!
This week has been great. It's so nice to be back to work and spending time with the children and my friends. We are battling very chilly weather here though! The people in the midwest get mad at me when I complain about the cold, and I know that the chilliness here is nothing compared to the freezing temperatures back home. But we don't have any central heating in our houses. We don't even have walls without holes in them, so the temperature outside is the temperature inside. It's cold! Hopefully it won't last for too much longer though.
An exciting piece of news is that there's a new teacher in our midst... a boy! It's fun having an American guy up on the mountain, and he's a U of M graduate too! (Go Blue- we wolverines do cool stuff after graduation!) Anyway, he and I have a bunch of mutual friends, which is pretty fun to talk about. What a small world.
So, we've been having a good time just hanging out and enjoying our internet...we are all excitedly preparing ourselves for the Lost Season Finale, and we're settling in for the next six months in Honduras. Stay tuned for pics of my students... I can't believe how big they've gotten since the beginning of the year. I am so proud of their progress, too, they are really improving on every level.
I'm proud of myself too, because my Spanish really has gotten so much better. One of the teachers told me the other day that I've definitely reached a level of fluency... I'm not really sure if that's true or not, but it was one of the nicest compliments I've gotten in a while!
So, this blog was pretty random, but that's the way things go at the beginning of the year. And I'm expecting that there will be more random adventures soon to come.
This means that I will be able to check my email much more frequently and stay in much better touch with people... yay for technology!
This week has been great. It's so nice to be back to work and spending time with the children and my friends. We are battling very chilly weather here though! The people in the midwest get mad at me when I complain about the cold, and I know that the chilliness here is nothing compared to the freezing temperatures back home. But we don't have any central heating in our houses. We don't even have walls without holes in them, so the temperature outside is the temperature inside. It's cold! Hopefully it won't last for too much longer though.
An exciting piece of news is that there's a new teacher in our midst... a boy! It's fun having an American guy up on the mountain, and he's a U of M graduate too! (Go Blue- we wolverines do cool stuff after graduation!) Anyway, he and I have a bunch of mutual friends, which is pretty fun to talk about. What a small world.
So, we've been having a good time just hanging out and enjoying our internet...we are all excitedly preparing ourselves for the Lost Season Finale, and we're settling in for the next six months in Honduras. Stay tuned for pics of my students... I can't believe how big they've gotten since the beginning of the year. I am so proud of their progress, too, they are really improving on every level.
I'm proud of myself too, because my Spanish really has gotten so much better. One of the teachers told me the other day that I've definitely reached a level of fluency... I'm not really sure if that's true or not, but it was one of the nicest compliments I've gotten in a while!
So, this blog was pretty random, but that's the way things go at the beginning of the year. And I'm expecting that there will be more random adventures soon to come.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
I'm back!!!
Well, I undoubtedly had mixed feelings about leaving my family and the USA, but now that I'm back in Honduras, I'm so happy to be here! As soon as I stepped off the plane in San Pedro Sula and remembered what I'm coming back to, I became really, really excited.
We headed back to Gracias on Monday of this week, and then had one day to get ourselves situated before starting school again on Wednesday. Our first day back, for me, was hilarious. My students are seven and eight years old, and I have always kind of taken it for granted that they are just really cuddly. They always come and hug me and kind of hang on me or hold my hands... they are just really affectionate! But on Wednesday, they were straight-up shy. They looked at me really timidly before making their way over to their seats- it was almost like they didn't know how to act around me! It was super cute. They were so quiet, they sat in their seats in near silence for a good six or seven minutes before the bell rang...something that never happens in our class! It was so funny.
Before long, though, they were back to their rambunctious selves. It was really great to see them again- I missed them. I am starting to feel a little pressure, because now we are halfway through the year, and I'm beginning to feel like my teacher clock is ticking. I only have half a year more with them, and I really want to make sure that I have absolutely done everything I can to help them grow. A couple of them were asking me on Wednesday if I'm going to be their teacher next year... they said that they don't want me to leave. I almost started crying right then and there! June already seems to be looming. I just have to be really aware of making the most of every minute I have here...I really am so happy to be in Honduras.
We headed back to Gracias on Monday of this week, and then had one day to get ourselves situated before starting school again on Wednesday. Our first day back, for me, was hilarious. My students are seven and eight years old, and I have always kind of taken it for granted that they are just really cuddly. They always come and hug me and kind of hang on me or hold my hands... they are just really affectionate! But on Wednesday, they were straight-up shy. They looked at me really timidly before making their way over to their seats- it was almost like they didn't know how to act around me! It was super cute. They were so quiet, they sat in their seats in near silence for a good six or seven minutes before the bell rang...something that never happens in our class! It was so funny.
Before long, though, they were back to their rambunctious selves. It was really great to see them again- I missed them. I am starting to feel a little pressure, because now we are halfway through the year, and I'm beginning to feel like my teacher clock is ticking. I only have half a year more with them, and I really want to make sure that I have absolutely done everything I can to help them grow. A couple of them were asking me on Wednesday if I'm going to be their teacher next year... they said that they don't want me to leave. I almost started crying right then and there! June already seems to be looming. I just have to be really aware of making the most of every minute I have here...I really am so happy to be in Honduras.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Heading South
Well, it's 3:06am and I'm just waiting to leave for the airport to head back to Honduras. I feel so mixed about going back. I know that once I get there, I'll be happy to see my friends and get back to the mountains... but I have really, really loved my time at home. I love being close to my family and spending time with them. I adore my puppy. I like seeing old friends. I love the comforts of home... things like my huge bed, central heating, fast internet, strong water pressure, drinking from the tap, and not washing my vegetables in bleach, just to name a few things. It's hard to leave- the two weeks went by so quickly that I didn't nearly have time to do everything I wanted to do.
That being said, I am super excited to get out of this cold weather! I am no longer a fan of the freezing cold midwest winters, and I'm anxious to get back to the lovely weather in Honduras. I really appreciate and am looking forward to slowing down...the pace of life in Honduras is so much slower than life in the US. I'm happy to get away from the television and back to nature. I'm excited to see my neighbors and my friends. I am looking forward to speaking spanish and eating baleadas. And I am so, so excited to see my little students.
I have mixed feelings, for sure. But regardless, I am heading to the airport and will be in Honduras by this afternoon! I have six months left in this adventure, and I think those six months are going to be amazing.
I am posting a couple of pictures of my students that I took before Christmas. I received a camera over break, so I will be able to post more soon!
That being said, I am super excited to get out of this cold weather! I am no longer a fan of the freezing cold midwest winters, and I'm anxious to get back to the lovely weather in Honduras. I really appreciate and am looking forward to slowing down...the pace of life in Honduras is so much slower than life in the US. I'm happy to get away from the television and back to nature. I'm excited to see my neighbors and my friends. I am looking forward to speaking spanish and eating baleadas. And I am so, so excited to see my little students.
I have mixed feelings, for sure. But regardless, I am heading to the airport and will be in Honduras by this afternoon! I have six months left in this adventure, and I think those six months are going to be amazing.
I am posting a couple of pictures of my students that I took before Christmas. I received a camera over break, so I will be able to post more soon!
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